Cookies by Candlelight

My daughter and I participated in Earth Hour tonight. Being 3yrs old, light is pretty important to her. She got really upset at first when I dimmed the lights that she was playing by but the treat of running around with two flashlights and a lantern made her happy again. I lit candles all over the house and coaxed her away from the computer games on Nick Jr. We made chocolate milk by the refrigerator light and got some iced tea for me. We snuggled up on the couch together and ate chocolate Madeline's and black & white cookies from Starbucks. The light from the lantern looked like the moon on the ceiling. We talked about all the fun things we got to do today -- Circus School, the trip to Claire's for sparkly and shiny things, coloring, riding the big wheel, playing computer games, reading books, playing dress up. She is such a girl.

Now, we didn't get Earth Hour quite right because when we were done chatting, we watched King of the Hill on TV. She says to me, "Mommy, he needs better skills" regarding Dale Gribble on the show. Sometimes, she is too smart.

Anyhow, she's laying down in bed, my bed. She's still talking... a lot. I really wish she'd be quiet and go to sleep. I'm exhausted.

I never managed my nap today. She got a nap. Her daddy got a nap. When I finally laid down, my sister called 10m after I fell asleep. Then I got up and cleaned house some. Then I tried to lay down again. And 10m later, Bitty needed Mucinex. Rather than ask her dad where it was, she came up and banged on my door. Then the neighbor's dog started barking. Then lots of sirens went by. Then she came upstairs and stood in her room, which shares a wall with ours, and screamed for her daddy. He was in the basement. She was on the 2nd floor with me. Grrr... I got to lay down, but no actual napping. Now, she's just talking and talking.

Tomorrow, we need to make a trip to the library again. We have lots of books to return and we should check out some new ones.

I'm getting a sore throat. I'm all hoarse. I would really like the weather to level out so I can't not get sick again.

Hmmm... I must be tired too as I am just rambling... I'm doing the same thing that she is doing, only in my blog instead of out loud.

G'nite All!

The Old Turtle and the Broken Truth is a must read

It doesn't actually make me nostalgic, however, I think it is the best children's book ever. And I think every adult should read, regardless of whether they have kids or not.

A truth falls from the heavens and breaks in half as it comes to Earth. It is a beautiful story with a fantastic message for everyone. Absolutely my favorite.

In fact, I think I need to go dig it out to read to my daughter today.

Morning Laughter

I'm starting to feel kind of glum so I needed to remind myself of this morning's laughter.

By 8:30am my sister had called me twice about baby poop. We have lots of conversations about baby poop lately. I was on the phone talking about baby poop when I headed down to the cafe. Yes, the one that I said I needed to stay out of just yesterday. I got my favorite 1 donut and then headed to the omelet/yogurt/fruit bar to get a hard boiled egg for protein. My two favorite troublemakers were there. They started going on and on and on about how they couldn't believe I was getting a hard boiled egg. They are so gross. They can't stand to eat them. Ick, ick, ick, on and on. Meanwhile, my sister is going on about what foods to try to loosen up the constipated baby. Hard boiled eggs are nothing when you regularly talk about poop.

Now, being on the phone, I can't exactly respond to the guys. So I'm thinking what can I do to get them to shut up, one up them on the gross scale. I lick the egg -- thinking that licking the thing they think is gross will that it gross them out.

It did NOT elicit the response I was looking for. Okay, they both shut up for a moment. And turned red. Apparently, licking an egg does not in fact gross them out. It turns them on.

"Hey! Do that again!"
"I like the way you do that."
"How you doin'?"

And when I walked away, laughing and dying of embarrassment, "Hey! Come back here!"

Um... yeah... not what I was going for but definitely for a few good laughs. The three of us all have sore abs from laughing so hard!

From this valley, they say you are going

This morning, I had to double check the radio station. I've been trying to reduce my stress levels and have been listening to music in the morning. More music, less news radio makes for a more joyful Me. I was pretty sure I had it on the pop music station but they were covering lots of news stories.

If you haven't heard, we are preparing for record flooding here in MN. Where I am at in the Twin Cities, we are fine. But further northwest, in the Red River Valley, they are expecting the river to crest at 43ft, the highest level in over a century. The expected level seems to go up by about 2ft every day.

People have come in from all over the Northern Plains and even farther. Bus loads of high school and college students have gone up day after day to fill sand bags and build up the dikes. In about a month from now, bus loads of people will again trek up to Fargo/Moorhead to do clean up.

The cresting of the river is just one part of the tragedy that is about to befall these people. Once the river finally crests, they expect that it will stay at that level for 3 to 4 weeks before beginning to recede. Then the real work will begin.

There is a 215ft crack in an earthen dike. More than 150 homes have been ordered to evacuate. There are ambulances running back and forth evacuating hospitals, hospice care and elder care centers. Schools have been closed. Anyone who can't evacuate quickly is being urged to leave now -- families with small children, the elderly, etc.

It's supposed to crest sometime tomorrow.

As you go to bed tonight, secure in your home and warm in your bed, take a moment and think of these people and say a prayer for them. Tomorrow, their homes may be gone.

For more info, see NPR article.

If these demands are not met... well, I'll keep on living...

$500,000
Corny? Obvious answer? Yeah, I know. Most people demand more. Or play the Lotto hoping for more. Too much money though is just as bad as too little money. People don't understand the effect of too much money, but if you follow what happens to pro athletes or Lotto winners you'll soon learn too much money is just as bad. Maybe even worse.

On the news the other, they had a contributor who writes for Sports Illustrated. He was talking about how so many of our pro athletes are bankrupt within 5 years of retirement. The number was astonishing. If I recall correctly, it was 60%. The athletes put the money in things that they physically see value in -- like homes, cars, jewelry, clothes, shoes, clubs -- but they fail to invest it or they trust others to invest it for them and they get ripped off. In the end, none of those physical things held their value. I suppose if they bought enough jewelry and the right kind of jewelry, then it would hold its value. Homes, unfortunately, did not hold their value.

The other thing the SI guy mentioned was they were careless in other ways too. They were careless with people. They have these broods of children from different women who suck the money right out of them. Yes, it is their fault for having unprotected sex and exposing themselves to this sort of fiscal risk. But they used the people, had children and moved on. People are not throwaways.

But a similar thing often happens with Lotto winners. They don't really know what to do with all that money. They trust people who can't be trusted. People come out of the woodwork looking for a handout. Often times, these Lotto winners are so grateful that they really do want to do good and spread the wealth. They spend some time living an extravagant life they never would have had. They give money away to people who need it. And then they are back to broke again themselves.

So I demand $500,000. It is more than enough. It would pay off the mortgage and the one car we have. It would buy us a second car in full and not create anymore debt. It would pay off the loan and the HELOC. It would also provide a good down payment or maybe even outright buy us a new larger home where we can comfortably fit two kids, two dogs, and visiting family and friends. It would also put a little $$ in the bank for our emergency fund.

Then our regular earned income maintains everything. It affords the property taxes, the food, the trips to Starbucks, the circus school classes and swim lessons and guitar lessons... and any number of other things that kids want/need to grow up as well-rounded, well-educated, self-sustaining adults.

It's enough to make some financial worries go away, but not so much that we create new ones.

Warm weather and a cure for seasonal allergies
These two must go hand in hand. Warm weather! I need warmer weather! For the first time since I've been to MN, I am sick and tired of winter. Sick, sick, sick of it! The temp this morning was 18F. The wind chill was 8F. Monday evening in to Tuesday morning, we are supposed to have measurable, plowable snow. Really? I'm done. Winter this year started early. I was completely off of allergy meds in October. That means, the living plants were dormant in October. October, November, December, January, February, and now all of March... have been Winter months.

Now, warm weather brings those allergies on again. I'd love to be able to go to the Como Conservatory and see all the lovely blooming flowers without needing 50mg of Benadryl within an hour which causes a 3 hour drug induced coma for me. I'd like to be able to go for a daily walk or two without having to make sure that I've taken ClaritinD 12 hour and Flonase. I need a one time shot (or even an annual shot) that cures me of the allergies so I don't go through Spring and Summer in a haze.

Experiments in Going Green

At work, I've been diligently working on the three Rs of reducing, reusing, and recycling. I've managed to eliminate all the Styrofoam cups, plates, and small bowls from the cafeteria. I've also gotten rid of the plastic utensils in favor of corn or sugar cane. I can't remember exactly, but I chose sugar cane over corn whenever possible. All I have left that is bad in the cafe is a big Styrofoam bowl. I cannot find a replacement for it yet. Everything else is recycleable or compostable.

Today, my tech tells me as we are digging through utenils that the cafe manager said, "Do not microwave the forks." No reason why. Now, we've been suspiscious of these utenisils. I mean, its organic material. How is it not melting in the hot coffee or hot soup? It is heat tempered somehow. But we've been given this challenge.

So we microwaved a spoon -- made of the same material as the forks we were told to not microwave. I'm the safety person. I have to test these things, right? Right!

It melted exactly where he'd touched it. Clearly further experimentation is called for though. I may need to know if the oils from his skin reacted with the spoon causing it to melt or if the spoon will melt without those oils.

Anyhow, time to eat my yogurt. Experiments will have to wait for another day.

WW Day

Meeting did not go well today. Okay, weigh in did not go well today. The WW receptionist tried to play it down with the fact that I did not think about meeting this morning when I got dressed and put on a nice warm sweater considering it was 28F. I don't know that the sweater weighs two pounds. To put my manager spin on it, what went right? What went wrong? What are the lessons learned this week? What's the plan for next week?

WWR:
1. I journaled 5 out of 7 days.
2. I did push ups on Tuesday until my arms where shaky instead of eating another thing when stressed.
3. I remembered to bring my water bottle twice.

WWW:
1. I felt guilty and drank the Gold Peak Green Tea because the cafe ordered it in because I like it. That is 3 extra points per bottle.
2. I ate lots of carbs on my stressed out day. Lots.
3. Although I brought my healthy meals with me to work, on at least three days, I went to the cafe and ate instead.

LL:
When I walked away and did something else for a while during the stress, I had the answer almost immediately when I came back. I need to get away from the problem and take a moment to see the bigger picture. Literally WALKING helped to clear my head, let go of the stress and find the answer. The extra yummy bread from the cafe did not give me that result. The walking did.

I didn't ask them to order in the Green Tea for me. It put me over my points every day. And yet, here I am drinking one today too! Guilt is an unacceptable reason to eat and to be fat. I have plenty of zero calorie teas that I love that I can drink all day long.

When I brought the water bottle to work, I used it. Need to get back in to that habit of keeping the water bottle with me at all times.

I need to journal as I go along or pre-journal the day and eat from that menu plan.

Lastly, after looking at our bank statements for the last three months, I have to stop eating out so much and stop those little runs through Starbucks. They are killing me both fiscally and physically.

Goals for this week:
Journal Daily
Keep the water bottle in my bag
Starbucks is ONLY for Saturday mornings
Walk away from the stress

10lb reward -- Manicure at the salon

Minnesota Puppy and Kitten Mill Bill

URGENT ACTION NEEDED BEFORE FRIDAY
Can you imagine your pet(s) not having enough food and water or a warm, safe place to sleep? What if they weren’t given the opportunity to exercise or experience everyday interactions with humans?

For many dogs and cats across the state of Minnesota those circumstances are the only ones they know. Minnesota is among the top producers of puppies and kittens in the United States. Breeding these animals is a multi-million dollar industry with no state oversight or regulation. While many breeders in Minnesota act responsibly, there are reports of breeding facilities housing more than 1,000 animals.

For months, Animal Humane Society has been working with 32 Minnesota animal welfare organizations and the National Federation of Humane Societies to enact the Minnesota Puppy and Kitten Mill bill (S.F. 7/H.F. 253). The bill will protect animals by giving the Minnesota Board of Animal Health the authority to license breeders and hold them accountable to comply with existing applicable care standards under federal and state laws and regulations.
And it stands a good chance of not passing during the current legislative session if we don’t come together to let our legislators know that Minnesota can no longer turn its back on animal cruelty.

Be a voice for animals. The Minnesota Puppy and Kitten Mill Bill (H.F. 253) is going to be heard in the House Agriculture Committee the morning of Friday, March 27. Please call all of the members on the committee before Friday morning and ask them to vote in favor of H.F. 253, Representative Tillberry's bill.

As you know, hearings are unpredictable. Unforeseen amendments to weaken the bill may be introduced at the hearing, which is why it's important to reiterate your support of H.F. 253 and urge committee members not to accept any amendments that would weaken it.
IMPORTANT: Calls at this critical time are more effective than emails. Also, if you are a constituent of a committee member listed below, be sure that legislator knows that fact. To find out who represents you, go to DistrictFinder.

Below is a list of the committee members and their phone numbers.

House Agriculture, Rural Economics and Veterans Affairs Committee Call BEFORE Friday, March 27. Support H.F. 253

Chair: Representative Mary Ellen Otremba - 651-296-3201
Vice Chair: Representative Al Doty - 651-296-4247
Representative Steve Drazkowski - 651-296-2273
Representative Kent Eken - 651-296-9918
Representative Tim Faust - 651-296-0518
Representative Rod Hamilton - 651-296-5373
Representative Kory Kath - 651-296-5368
Representative Terry Morrow - 651-296-8634
Representative Dave Olin - 651-296-9635
Representative Ron Shimanski - 651-296-1534
Representative Dean Urdahl - 651-296-4344

In order to keep the bills moving forward, there have been many discussions with various interested parties. The coalition will continue to fight for the strongest language possible while working collaboratively to get legislation passed.

Legislators are hearing from breeders, hunters, the NRA and others who oppose the bill (and any regulation) so they need to hear from all of us.

Thank you for your efforts. Receive regular legislative updates regarding animal welfare in the state of Minnesota from Animal Humane Society by becoming an Animal Advocate.

Memory Lane

Yes, I've gone on about the weirdness of Facebook for me. I am just still working this out in my head though. Maybe it isn't in my head... I think it is my heart. Oh yeah... the tears now are a definite sign that it is in my heart.

Many, many moons ago, I really loved Michael. I loved him enough to push a close friend out of the scene. They were already struggling and my meeting him only made things worse. He and I got closer and closer as friends as their relationship fell apart. I'm pretty sure that I gave it that last final push though. It would have happened anyhow, but I sped the process along. We dated for a long time, especially for high school although he was in college.

I have glimpses of memories with him. I remember him taking care of me when I was sick. I remember getting stopped by the staties on Rt 2 between Littleton and Concord for stalling out in the left hand lane. I remember watching the lights at the base air strip. I remember walking hand in hand at Hampton Beach and eating at Mama Leoni's all dressed up for prom.

He introduced me to things like Evita and Jesus Christ Superstar. I think he even took me to the Wang to see JCS. I went with him to MCP and got tacos and baklava at a little taco stand. I got to help pick out the first real Christmas tree I'd ever been part of decorating with his family. He got me to listen to heavy metal music and actually listen closely enough to hear the lyrics. And he got me to read sci-fi/fantasy novels. He is responsible for my love of Billy Joel and songs that tell stories.

Somewhere along the line, I decided that I needed to spread my wings and date more people and have some adventure. Michael had his life planned out for himself. It may even be more appropriate to say he had his life planned out for him. I wanted to be the person to set his inner writer free, but it wasn't going to happen. I was afraid to let my life be all settled at 17 though. A couple/few weeks before the senior prom, I broke up with him. My friends were shocked. I think everyone was shocked.

After that I made a series of bad choices in guys/men. My life hasn't turned out the way that I thought it would.

Do not get me wrong though. I love my life now. I love my husband. I love my kids. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Yeah, sure a few thousand bucks more a month would be lovely but isn't everyone in that boat?

But my brain can't help but wonder... or maybe it's my heart... What if... What if I hadn't broken up with him? Would my life be different? Would I have avoided a failed marriage? Would I have had to spend so much time and effort rebuilding my self-confidence? Would I have finished school? Would I have gotten into international relations somehow? Would I have found a way to travel more? How would his life be?

I don't really want to know the answer to the last question. And really, I think I'd have eventually ended up with pretty much this same life. I mean, my dad got orders to go to Hawaii. I'm sure that my family still would have forced me to go with them. My relationship would have still ended then or probably shortly after.

It's the one relationship that makes me think, What were you thinking when you broke up with him? The next guy I dated slammed my head into a table when I didn't want to have sex. The one after that I ended up marrying -- he'd been married twice before and had 5 kids, got hooked on ice, and slowly destroyed my sense of self. After that divorce, I dated another real winner who took advantage of that lack of confidence...

Wow. It took me 10 years to find another good man and get my crap together. I wonder if I'd made a different decision if I would have avoided those 10 years of heartache.

But then I wouldn't be who I am today. I got to grow up, learn to truly be self-supporting, and find my center in those 10 years.

Memory lane is definitely a double edged sword. It is sweet and wonderful and loving but it sure can cut you to the bone.

Done, done, done!

Budget mess dealt with.

Training schedule figured out, announced, and already registered lots of people. In fact, three of the ten classes are completely full already.

Cleaned up the blood drip in the bathroom. I get a call, "There's blood all over the bathroom! Send up the hazmat kit! Someone got their blood all over everything! It's disgusting!" So, I grab the blood-borne pathogens clean up kit and head upstairs. Um... yeah... there was one drop of something bright red that had dried up in the corner of one of the stalls. It dried bright red. I don't think it was blood. It certainly wasn't all over. Anyhow, I cleaned it up since it was an unknown substance in a bathroom with the items from the bbp kit. *eye roll*

I've also dealt with the same woman over four phone calls about getting a green alternative to 409 and Windex. Four phone calls. I told her to call me next week. I'm very busy today. She called me back in two hours. Then two hours after that... and 30 minutes after that... Really? I said next week.

Anyhow, I'm done. My brain has officially turned to mush for the day.

In other non-work related news, I have been READING! Yes, I have! And I've even been reading grown-up books, not just kid books. Amazing! I know it! I have been reading Roebuck in the Thicket: An Anthology of Robert Cochrane Letters. It is interesting so far in that the arguments that pagans have now are essentially the same arguments that pagans had 70 years ago. "You aren't a real witch!" "No! You aren't a real witch!" Oh please. And, I think that some of them were even more pretentious than our current BNP and crazy pagans. The photo of Grey in the first chapter made me giggle. And he even decried paganism and witches as evil in public. Really, go look in the mirror in your little get up there.

Oh! Did you happen to read in the news today that the appeals court has said that the FDA rulings during the Bush Administration were clearly related to politics and not science. The FDA needs to get back to business and use SCIENCE to do its work again. Amazing.

Okay, I need to get a few more things done before I leave tonight.

Release!

Aha! I just needed to complain enough and get the frustration out enough to see the big picture solution. Rather than going line item by line item, I went with the big bucket. No utilities are in Budget A. They are all supposed to be coming out of Budget B. Move all utilities expenses to Budget B. I used more job specific language with my husband and ended up having to explain it like this:

There is a bucket of fruit in the garage. Rather than picking up each piece of fruit and trying to figure out where it came from, how it got there and where to put it, I just picked up the whole bucket of fruit and took it to the kitchen.

And now, I can hear the music playing again and enjoy it. I have even caught myself singing along! Much, much less stressed! Now, I'm off to conquer the training schedule for our new copiers.

In Need of Distraction

I am really about to lose it. Last month, at month end, I recruited someone to help me with some budget corrections. I spent two hours going over what to look for and how to get it moved. Everything was moved to the wrong spots. On top of those things being moved to the wrong spots, the finance person entered some of them wrong as well. I have no idea how to get it all fixed. I'm not even sure I know how to trace all of the wrong allocations that were done. Part of me wants to just throw my hands up in the air and say, "Monday is a new year" and let it all go.

But then I'm stubborn. And will dig through this for the next two days, making myself more stressed and angry, and then I'll give up... because I'll be out of time. Now that I understand the depth and breadth of the issue, I think I'm going to step away for some lunch so I can regroup and then delve deeply into the numbers.

My First Kiss

Considering how inexperienced we both were, I suppose it went pretty well. We 'saw' each other for a little while, but not long. He lived down the hill from me. I think he moved shortly after that.

For a long while, I described it as kissing a wet sock. It seemed like his biggest interest was seeing just how far down my throat he could get his tongue.

In retrospect though, I'm quite a bit kinder. I mean, really, what does a boy in 7th grade know about kissing? I'm sure that his technique has improved since then. I know mine has.

Strip Searches for Ibuprofen?

On April 21, the Supreme Court will hear the case of a 13 year old girl, honor student who was strip searched at school on suspicion of having prescription strength (800mg) Ibuprofen pills on her.

Really? For ibuprofen, you are going to strip search a 13 year honor student in school? I understand for illegal drugs, but for ibuprofen. This is a little over board. Okay, way over board.

I hope that her family gets a good deal of $$ for this. Humiliation and degradation like that for no good reason can traumatically impact a young girl.