Advice

A friend pointed me to a new blog about advice for a baby daughter. Neat blog.

A different friend came to my office this morning to talk about life and the weekend happenings. I really like that I get to do this with my people each Monday. I am honored that they like and respect me enough to come sit in my office each Monday, on their own accord, and share their lives with me. Anyhow, I gave the friend a piece of advice that an old boyfriend gave me that I have applied throughout my life. This is the advice, in my recollection of it from nearly 20 years ago.

Most guys don't get it. They don't understand. I need a 3x5 card with all capitals telling me exactly what it is you want or need.

Pretty simple, huh? No one is a mind reader. If you don't say what you want or need, 1) you cannot expect to receive it and 2) you cannot get angry at anyone who doesn't know what you want or need. You have to tell them and you have to say it clearly in words that they will understand. That is a big part of it! You have to say it in words that THEY will understand.

That is the best piece of advice that I've ever received and I continue to apply it and give it out all these years later.





So when you are all pissy and walk out in a huff, or locked behind a bathroom door, or quietly seething inside because things are not the way you want them; stop and ask yourself, "Did I tell them, on a 3x5 card in all caps, exactly what I wanted or needed?" If the answer is no, then you have to assume that they did not know. Take a few deep breaths, wash your face, and go have a conversation with the person. Most people don't want to purposefully ignore your needs or act in a way to hurt you.


Thank you to the one who gave me that advice. I hope others reap the same benefits from it that I did... and continue to reap.

Weekend Update

We got a fair amount accomplished this weekend and seemed to indulge everyone's whims. Saturday morning we went to the great neighborhood garage sale. Over 175 sales this year! We hit about 2 dozen or so of them. Itty Bitty found a Cinderella Vanity for $5. Cinderella actually appears in the mirror and they get ready for the Ball together. The boy found an action figure he wanted for $0.25, if even that, and some free chocolate covered sunflower seeds. I found some clothes for IttyBitty for $0.50 a piece. My honey found a potatoe masher. We gave up when we realized that 1) we didn't really need anything and 2) we were just going to come home with more toys for the kids, especially the girl, that we really didn't need.

The boy had a baseball game that afternoon. They won and he actually scored a home run. I stayed home and cleaned the dining room. Then they all came home. I filled them with pizza and sent my honey on his way. I folded laundry. The kids played.

Sunday, we were out again in the morning and did some cleaning at a very grassroots neighborhood clean-up. We headed out to Lake Hiawatha where most of our kids like to go play and there is a little beach and a rec center. We worked mostly in the grass while a larger group worked the beach area. It got hot and several of us got very allergic within about 30 to 45 minutes. The kids helped a bit and then went off to play on the playground.

IttyBitty wasn't feeling very well. She actually did not play at all. We got home and worked on things around the house a bit. Then she came and snuggled with me until we both ended up taking a long nap -- 3hrs for me, 5hrs for her.

In other news though, my honey finished building a compost bin for me. It is a barrel with a spoke and a stand. He dumped our kitchen compost in (suddenly the bugs in the kitchen disappeared!) and it stank to high heaven. Thankfully, we both had done a little online research about this and the family shredded up the paper from last Sunday and added that plus some store bought compost that we used in the garden earlier. No stink! No bugs! Yay!

The garden has lots of green things growing in it. Lots of them. The beets don't look like they are producing very well yet though. Maybe they just need more time. I don't know. I'm not exactly a gardener.

Overall a good and productive weekend, time spent outside, time spent cleaning and doing laundry and time spent resting. And nearly all of it was family time.