A different friend came to my office this morning to talk about life and the weekend happenings. I really like that I get to do this with my people each Monday. I am honored that they like and respect me enough to come sit in my office each Monday, on their own accord, and share their lives with me. Anyhow, I gave the friend a piece of advice that an old boyfriend gave me that I have applied throughout my life. This is the advice, in my recollection of it from nearly 20 years ago.
Most guys don't get it. They don't understand. I need a 3x5 card with all capitals telling me exactly what it is you want or need.
Pretty simple, huh? No one is a mind reader. If you don't say what you want or need, 1) you cannot expect to receive it and 2) you cannot get angry at anyone who doesn't know what you want or need. You have to tell them and you have to say it clearly in words that they will understand. That is a big part of it! You have to say it in words that THEY will understand.
That is the best piece of advice that I've ever received and I continue to apply it and give it out all these years later.
So when you are all pissy and walk out in a huff, or locked behind a bathroom door, or quietly seething inside because things are not the way you want them; stop and ask yourself, "Did I tell them, on a 3x5 card in all caps, exactly what I wanted or needed?" If the answer is no, then you have to assume that they did not know. Take a few deep breaths, wash your face, and go have a conversation with the person. Most people don't want to purposefully ignore your needs or act in a way to hurt you.
Thank you to the one who gave me that advice. I hope others reap the same benefits from it that I did... and continue to reap.
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